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Feeding On Me
uestion: After ten years of marriage and four kids, I can not seem to convince my husband to go down on me. What can I do to encourage him without embarrassing him, or me, in the process? He knows that I want it and I have told him that I understand, but what could be holding him back? He has always been shy in the bedroom, but I believe this is because I have been his only partner. I have told him what I like and where, but it still bothers him. Do I keep prying or give up the idea that I will ever experience this type of satisfaction ever again?
Answer: There could be a variety of reasons why he hasn't ventured down south. His reasons could range from an insecurity issue to the thought of the act being completely repulsive. I'm pretty confident you'd know if it was the later, so I will address the more common "problem areas" to a lack of lovin' down below.
A huge issue for many men is hygiene. I'm not talking about just being clean either - which of course you should be! Being trimmed and freshly scented can help overcome most obstacles. When washing, use a scented soap - something that will appeal to him like a fruit or vanilla, and keep on top of the upkeep of your nether region.
Another reason men may shy away comes down to feeling inadequate or unsure of what they're doing down there. A lot of this can be resolved through the presentation of the oral intercourse. With that in mind, here are a few techniques you could try to get him in the mood.
Flavored & Fun
Use sexual aids to liven up the passion play. Make yourself a whipped cream bikini or turn yourself into a human sundae. He'll have to lick you clean! There are tons of flavored syrups and edible lotions on the market as well. Try doing a search for edible lotions or other oral aids.
Let the Games Begin
Many erotic board games include cards or instructions to please your lover orally for a set amount of time. This could be a great way to introduce your partner into this type of love play. It's in a structured setting, so he can feel a little bit in control of the terms while also having fun.
Playing Together Is Twice the Fun
Reduce his mental agony by sharing the task together. His mind will be preoccupied with what you are doing to him, so it can help alleviate any tension or negative thoughts about the act.
Once he gets more comfortable with this type of sexual activity, broaden both of your skills by ordering oral sex technique DVDs or reading a few books on the subject.
25 Ways To Say I Love You
25 Ways To Say I Love You
by Bob Narindra
Show your sweetie your heart belongs to them with one of these 25 ways to say, "I love you!"
1. Order a custom-made cake with, "I love you" written on it.
2. Call in a dedication on your partner's favorite radio station.
3. Have flowers, delivered in person by a mutual friend.
4. Post a dedication on Lovingyou.com.
5. Commission a billboard on your partner's route to work.
6. Diamond anything, with a card, or engraved.
7. Send them a framed photograph, autographed by you.
8. Leave a message on their voice mail or pager.
9. Leave little love notes around the house where they will find them.
10. Write it on the bathroom mirror in fog-proof treatment.
11. Mail them a letter, postcard or greeting card.
12. Commission a sky writer to write it in the air.
13. Announce it over the public address system in any public place.
14. Send them a postcard from the heart.
15. Write them a love poem.
16. Build a web site dedicated to your love.
17. Take out an ad in their favorite newspaper or magazine.
18. Make a screen saver and have a colleague load it onto their work computer.
19. Create any one of the simple crafts on LYC and send it to your love with a note.
20. Send them a box of chocolates with a card.
21. Have an artist draw their portrait from a photograph.
22. Carve a heart into their favorite tree.
23. Buy them something they have always wanted.
24. Commission a love song, sung just for them.
25. Commission a romance novel with you both as the lead characters.
Dinner Ideas:
Dinner in bed can be a cute, fun way to shake things up a bit in your relationship. For new couples, it can lead to a more relaxed, confident attitude in the bedroom, and older couples can use it to break the monotony that can sometimes come from being together for so long. Here are a few tips on how to prepare a bedroom feast.
Preparing for dinner:
* Choose some comfortable but sexy sleep attire, like lingerie or sexy boy shorts and one of his t-shirts.
* Make sure you have all ingredients ahead of time so that no last minute trips to the store will keep him waiting.
* Prepare the atmosphere for more romance. Put on fresh sheets, clean your room, light candles, and turn off the cell phones.
Dinner Ideas:
Finger Foods Dinner
Fruits like pears, strawberries, apples, mangoes, and blackberries are great. Breads like sourdough baguettes, sliced French bread, or homemade biscuits with toppings like hummus, cream cheese, jam, spinach dip, summer sausage, and cheese are also perfect for picnics.
Dinner On You
If sustenance is below sensuality on your priority list, how about making your body a buffet for your lover? Place appetizers like a slice of toasted baguette with bruschetta or a stuffed mushroom on your shoulders. Then, a main course like nigera sushi on your breasts and a garnish of orange slice and mint leaf on your tummy. Finish with a fruit and cream cheese tart or sundae toppings for dessert set on your bikini line. By the time his belly is full, you should be hot and ready to serve!
Guy Style Dinner
A no hassle, make-every-guy-happy dinner of pizza, beer, and hot wings delivered from your favorite pizza place right to your door! Pop in an action flick and make the night all about him!
No Effort Gourmet
Order in from your favorite restaurant for a romantic gourmet dinner in bed. Spend the time and energy you would have spent cooking dinner on setting the mood. Light candles, dress the bed in satin sheets, and have the massage oil handy for after dinner pampering.
Picnic Dinner
Spread a blanket over the bed and bring a picnic basket filled with his favorite picnic items like sandwiches, fried chicken, potato salad, antipasto, wine, and cupcakes (just to name a few possibilities).
Fondue Fun Dinner
Slice up cake and fruits for chocolate fondue or breads, sausages, and blanched vegetables like asparagus and broccoli for a cheese fondue. Feed each other and don’t worry about the mess. Licking the drippings off of each other is part of the fun with in-the-bed fondue!
Reader-Submitted Ideas:
Bed Picnic
Spread out a blanket on the bed, light candles, and put some great jazz music (or whatever music the two of you like.) Then, take out a chilled bottle of wine, strawberries, mixed fruit, chocolate sauce, cheese, and crackers and just spend time together catching up on everything going on in your lives. It's an easy, fun way to reconnect with your lover!
--submitted by Heather
Romantic Dinner Nights
My fiancé and I cook dinner together in our pajamas, then we have dinner in bed. We feed each other and give each other massages. Don’t forget the whipped cream for dessert!
